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Community Corner

Allyson Was One Click Away From a Bullying Nightmare

Like many teens, Ally had a cell phone but little did she know she would become the victim of bullying and could face a legal nightmare when she sent her boyfriend a nude photo of herself.

After last week's column, , Ally contacted me about her experiences being bullied. She asked me to share her story.

Sixteen-year-old Allyson Pereira was a popular, outgoing, church-going student. She had been dating her boyfriend since she was a freshman until one day out of the blue he broke up with her. Ally was crushed; she was in love and had even dreamed of them getting married one day. Two weeks later, he told her he had a change of heart and wanted to get back together….if she sent him a nude photo of herself.

Thrilled at the thought of getting back together, Ally made an impulsive decision that would derail not only her life, but her family’s, too. She went into the bathroom with her friends and they snapped a topless photo of her on her cell phone. She sent it to her boyfriend and waited to hear from him. He never answered the text, instead he forwarded it to every single person in his contact list; friends, classmates and parents.

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Immediately Ally’s life became a nightmare. It started with name-calling, people would shout at her in the hallways at school: “Ally is a whore" or “Ally is a slut.” Even some teachers in school harassed her; if she asked for a hall pass, she was told she could go to the bathroom so long as she did not take any more photos. People posted the photo on social network sites and the abuse spiraled. Ally received death threats from girls whose boyfriends had seen the photo, her house was vandalized.

Ally lost most of her friends; some of their parents banned them from hanging out with her. Fearing for her safety in school, she would have to beg the few friends she had left to walk in the hallway with her. Her little brother suffered, too, he lost friends and was bullied in school. The principal denied her appeal for help and told her to “Come back if it turns physical.”

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Ally’s grades plummeted and she attempted suicide. She thought that after she graduated things would get better, but they didn’t. People have made hate pages online about her and call her a whore in public places.

That could have been the end of a tragic story, but Ally decided to take a stand. She began speaking out; first she went to schools to talk about sexting and bullying. Her public appearances led to her being accepted onto MTV’s A Thin Line Campaign’s Street Team and an appearance on "Sexting in America: When Privates Go Public." She has also appeared on The View and Good Morning America.

One of the biggest changes she made was working with New Jersey Assemblywoman Pamela Lampitt to change the laws about sexting. When Ally took that photo she had no idea she could have faced legal problems.

In most states, anyone under the age of 18 caught sharing a nude photo of a minor can be charged with distribution of child pornography and have to register as a sex offender until they are 45 years old. They have to attend mandatory classes with other sex offenders; (rapists and molesters) they cannot live within a school zone or move out of state. The girl or boy that took the photo can face even more charges; making of child pornography and distribution. Thanks to Ally and Lampitt in New Jersey first-time offenders get therapy rather than having to register.

These days practically every tween and teen has a  and the majority of the phones have a camera. As an adult it is easy to question why Ally made a foolish decision, but teens are impulsive, the part of their brain that controls rational behavior is not yet fully developed, so don’t assume your kid is smart enough to know better.

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