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Health & Fitness

Meatless Monday - I Want To Be Alone

Some people will go to great lengths to get some alone time.

I was sitting at home enjoying the peace and quiet of my snow day when my cell phone rang. Like everyone else I have caller ID, I really was not in the mood to have a lengthy conversation with this person, so I let it roll to voice mail. Seconds later the house phone rang….and my talking caller ID told me it was the same person. (Yes I bought a phone that tells me who is calling so I don’t have to get up to see, don’t judge!) She knew I was stuck home so I had a dilemma, answer the phone or ignore it. Bah I will call back later and tell her I was out with the dogs!

I’m not the only person that wants to fly under the radar from time to time. I found a story about a guy so desperate to avoid his girlfriend that he faked his own kidnapping. He went AWOL for a couple of weeks and didn’t want to face his angry girlfriend so he cooked up the scheme to pretend he was kidnapped. He was found lying on the street hog tied with duct tape, he told the police he had been snatched by a couple of guys in a minivan and held hostage. His plan came unstuck when the police noticed the roll of duct tape still attached to his wrists. If he thought she was angry before, I bet he is really going to get it now. Maybe he should buy one way ticket to Peru.

One woman took drastic steps to avoid her parents. When she went off to college she felt her parents were being way too over protective; she claims the installed keystroke software on her computer and cell phone to track her every move. She convinced a judge they were stalking her by taking 600 mile round trips to make surprise visits. The judge believed her and gave her a restraining order preventing them from going near her college. It’s no surprise they avoided her tuition bills for school after that. That’s going to make for a strained atmosphere at Thanksgiving dinner.

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Of course what you do may make people want to avoid you. Eat enough garlic and you will keep everyone at arm’s length, but there are more drastic steps you can take.  A 29 year old tattoo and body piercing specialist has found that his facial piercings make people give him a body swerve when they see him. It does not stop him though; he adds another hole or two every day. It’s not just strangers that keep their kids away from the circus side-show; even his own daughter is scared of his appearance.  I hope he never needs an MRI because all of that metal will need to come out and if he has to drink would all the liquid come out of the holes in his cheeks making him look like a giant sprinkler?

I have procrastinated enough for one day; I need to go return a couple of phone calls. Maybe I should take my dogs out first?

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