Sticks and Stones

I did not grow up during the digital age; there was no internet when I was a kid so I learned good old-fashioned manners for dealing with people face-to-face or even over the phone. As well as “please and thank you,” my mom taught us “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all” and “Don’t say something behind someone’s back you would not say to their face.”

Now that I’m all grown up, I teach my kids the same rules and it was a no-brainer for me to translate those adages for dealing with people online. I have written e-mails in anger, but have had the foresight to step away from the keyboard and cool down before hitting “send.” Those messages end up in my trash file, same goes with text messages; neither of these methods are a suitable way to deal with someone when you are angry or upset. My girls have heard that sermon so often they can preach it back to me.

I have had to learn how to navigate social media just like my kids–Facebook, Twitter, tumbl’r–these are all great ways to keep in touch with friends, but for young kids, they can be a minefield of hurt feelings if people do not keep their comments in check.

It’s not just the younger generation that can get into trouble on the internet, I have seen older people that clearly lack internet etiquette. What really irritates me these days is the epidemic of nastiness online.

In the old days, if you read an article in the newspaper you disagreed with, you would send a letter to the editor and that letter would only be published if you supplied your name. These days there are too many people that hide behind their keyboards and lob insults and verbal assaults anonymously.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, no matter how heinous someone else may find it; but if you disagree, why are you afraid to put your name on your comments? If you truly stand by these convictions, own up to it and stop being so cowardly.

Maybe if you took the time to reveal your identity, you might restrict yourself to just expressing an opinion and not attacking people personally–now wouldn’t that make for a more pleasant exchange? The next time you get angry at what someone else wrote, why not walk away before formulating a reply? Ask yourself, would you say the same thing if you were face-to-face with that person? Better yet, restrain yourself from attacking someone personally and keep your comments to responding to the subject matter.

I love Real Simple’s proposal of 'Be Nice on the Internet Week' from Jan. 9 to 13. How about we all give it a try and once you realize it’s not that hard to be nice, extend it, make it your New Year Resolution. As John Lennon once suggested “Give Peace a Chance.”

Here are some tips from Real Simple on internet etiquette.