What's Cookin'? My Husband's Version of Dinner

This column comes to you from my husband, Sean, who was left to his own devices for dinner one night....

So sometimes my wife goes out and I, the husband, am left to fend for myself. Now I am not a cook as she has stated, in fact, I think that she has been kind. The fact is that I have actually ruined grilled cheese and Ramen noodles trying to cook for my wife–to the point that she didn’t even want to eat it. So that’s about the point that I gave up on cooking anything and with an amazing wife like mine, why would I want to eat any of my own botched cooking?

Well on this particular night, my wife was out with some girlfriends and I was left home with only the baby to take care of. After getting him to bed at around 8, I went to the fridge…nothing. No leftovers, no lunchmeat, no milk, no eggs, the cupboards were bare, what was I going to do? Starve?

Well that’s when I lucked out and spotted these three hot dogs poking out from behind the butter in the door of our fridge left over from our recent camping trip. Well, as my wife hates hot dogs with a passion, I knew they were fair game and would not be missed and tonight would be a good night to do my refrigerator food disposal duties.

But no hot dog buns? I can make due with bread–what no bread? Just use the half-stale sliced French bread sitting by the toaster oven, toast it up and you won’t even notice it’s half stale.

Sides? No sides. This is taking way too long already. My wife is out I should be playing playstation by now so I throw them on the grill for grilled hot dog perfection top with ketchup and mustard and it’s a gourmet hot dog dinner fit for one.

I must say it’s not the best dinner I’ve had for a while and I am certainly lucky for my wife who takes such good care of me with her amazing cooking. Five minutes later, dinner is done and all I have to wash is one plate and settle down on the couch for some uninterrupted video game time.