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Health & Fitness

The Blame Game

Helping to make your kids responsible for their own actions!!

In the last 16 years, my two children were involved in lots of different things growing up here in our little town of North Branford....field hockey, baseball, football, cross-country, basketball, church choir, Friendly Helpers, Enviromental Club...just to name a few.

The one common thread throughout each of these organized events was 'The Blame Game.' I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a parent on the sideline of a game blame a coach, an official or one of the other players for the outcome of a particular play or score.

As my kids were growing up, I taught them that THEY are responsible for their own actions. If you do not succeed at something or you have been overlooked, it is no one else's fault but yours. Maybe you did not practice hard enough the week before or study enough for that test? No matter what it is, our children have to realize that it is their responsibility to try their best at everything they do and the end result is what they have to be proud of.

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We, as parents, do our kids a huge disservice by blaming others. On the ride home from numerous different events, my kids would try to pull the whole blaming thing. I would quickly point out that maybe it was other things, like you did not go to bed early enough the night before or not eating right or just that you had a bad day. 

We need to be aware of the fact that the Blame Game starts very young. The parents are the examples for their children as they are growing up. If Little Johnny's Dad is screaming throughout the entire game at one of the coaches or an official, Little Johnny is going to mimic that behavior and blame every one else. This is a very hard thing to do for lots of people, but in the long run it will pay off.

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As an adult, I realize that in some situations, it IS the coach or the official's fault, however, keeping your comments out of earshot of the kids is the best way to handle it. Raising responsible children into responsible adults is a full time job, but in the long run it is so worth it. You will actually have kids who are productive members of society and future parents that won't blame others.

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