We had soccer this weekend and it was freezing with a capital F. Luckily, my four-year-old daughter plays at 8:30 a.m. and then there's an hour break before my six-year-old son's game (sense the sarcasm?).
Last week we warmed up in the car in between games, but as I was feeling like an extra nice mom, I suggested we get hot chocolate at a little place across the street. We decided on muffins, too. Well, the nice moment was short-lived as my four-year-old decided she wanted orange juice, too–and sharing mine was an unacceptable in her eyes.
She proceeded to get upset and tried to grab my juice. I told her that isn't a nice way to act and if she kept it up, she wouldn't be getting her hot chocolate and we would leave. Well, my calm reasoning didn't work out so well and she got even madder.
I stood up and asked the waitress to pack our muffins to go just as she was bringing them out and put my son's hot chocolate in a to-go cup. We walked to the car where she proceeded to cry complete with telling me, "You're not my mom!" (see video clip...see how nice I am that I'll share my tortured morning with all of you!)
At that point, I decided ignoring her was the best bet. Though she continued to cry until we got out to go to my son's game, I just kept walking with her following behind. As his team's coach, I got the kids warming up and one of her friends showed up and then, like a switch, my happy little girl was back.
When we got home, it was straight to her room for a little rest. Other methods we've used to combat behavior include a chart system that rewarded positive behavior with stickers; the naughty shelf where toys go when the kids act up and they can then earn back with good behavior; and of course, there are some days when there's yelling!
How do you deal with bad behavior from your kids? What tactics have you used that have proven successful?
I'd be a parent, and put down the camera.
I try to value my son's needs and his feelings. My goal is not to control him and demand his unquestioning compliance. I'd rather have him grow up to be compassionate, understanding and patient. And so I do my best to model those qualities for him. I think you did that by remaining calm. I would just add a discussion about it when you got home so your daughter can explain how she felt and you can explain that you're upset with her behavior, but you still love her unconditionally.
@Beverage Guy. I'm glad you got a chuckle. And don't feel bad, I actually had to laugh a little at the end of the video, even in the moment, because of the height of the dramatics! And I know sometimes when it's someone else's kid throwing the tantrum or acting out, it almost makes you feel a little better to see all kids (and parents) have their moments.
Children are very sensitive to outside stimuli and will definitely respond to their surroundings. Perhaps canceling some of the activities scheduled and allowing for more down-time is key for your child. I have an almost-5-yr old who can be the most well-behaved child, but who can also be a holy terror. Much of her behavior is determined by 1) how much sleep she's gotten, 2) how much I've been running her around that day, and 3) my own patience level. All these things affect a child's behavior. Sometimes you just have to recognize that the kid is crabby and cut them some slack - the more frustrated you get, the more out-of-control they'll get.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs&sns=em
You also said above: "I found sometimes to show ur kids how they are acting let them see them selves and many times they will laugh and say how silly there were They can learn from their mistakes" Does this mean that you do think I should have taken the video and then shown it to her and maybe then she would have laughed instead of continuing to cry? Is that a disciplinary measure that has worked with your kids? I never actually showed her the clip of her tantrum, but if that has worked for you, maybe I will try it. Thank you for the suggestion!